Here's my dilemma. And what a dilemma. Wow, when you hear about my dilemma, you are going to realize I lead a really really hard life. Anyhoo, work has been a little slow and we are just coming off of Spring Break so you know, March is kinda blah. I'm down to one contract so just one day a week guaranteed. I mean, it's still the same or more than I'd make working any other job with about a third of the time but still, I'd like to be working more. Blarg. And on top of that, it's hard to make plans because I never know when I'll get called in, and I can't do yoga in the evening because I have to be able to answer my cellphone. Blarg. And also, subbing has been great lately and all, but I don't love it. It's so hard. I just want my own classroom so badly. Sometimes having to go from other people's classrooms to other people's classrooms is just depressing. Double blarg.
The appreciation part comes in with realizing that I shouldn't complain. The only one I take care of is myself and I'm doing fine. I have no children, no dependents, really, not much responsibility at all. If I don't get called in I can spend that day playing computer games. It's scary a little. I try to make sure that I recognize that this won't always be the situation, and when I get my own classroom, this really won't be the same situation. So trying to appreciate my lifestyle right now.
The balance comes in with this 'dilemma'. A friend has offered to pick me up on her way to a two day annual fibre fair out of town tomorrow if I don't get called into work. Do you know how awesome that would be? And it's a good friend who I don't get to see that often, sometimes only once a month, and on top of that, it's a friend I rarely get to spend non-group time with. We're also planning a road trip to Oregon Coast soon so it would be a good trial. Regardless, it would be an awesome freaking day, and not one easily ever replicated. How do I balance work and awesomeness? How?!??!
So, after all that, what do I do if I'm called in? Of course I would accept the job but at the same time all my nerves scream NO because of that whole appreciating my current situation and getting the most out of it. When you step back, it's so easy (and true) to say that spending a day with a good friend is way more important than work. Another part of me also notes that taking off on a Friday would not be possible with an actual classroom or with kids! Do this now when you still can! So many factors say reject the call, and have a great day with your friend, one you will remember.
Blarg.
Life is just weird. Spike agrees.
