1. Dirty Monkey Ass Tired
This is the tired where it physically hurts to breath in too quickly. You can't focus on things right away because they appear to be wavering back and forth, untill you realize that's you wavering back and forth. It takes about 5 seconds to properly process questions but sometimes you answer anyways without really knowing what the question is and that can be a big, big mistake. You forget how to work the debit machine and in vain search for the period not realizing it's just like bank machines and you just punch the numbers in order. Someone asks you something at the back of the store and by the time you take them to the front of the store, you've forgotten their question and have to ask them why you took them to the front of the store. You walk into the bathroom door because you forgot to open it first. You enter a zen stage with knitting and after fifteen minutes realize you have been staring at the wall while knitting and freak out frantically searching for any dropped stitches or mess ups (miracously, there are none). You switch prices while reading them out to the customer... like staying something is 99 dollars and 24 cents, when it is actually 24.99. Do that twice in one night.
2. Freaky Donkey Ass Tired
This is when you are so tired, everything is funny because nothing makes sense. You realize you have an exam in three days worth 50% of your grade and you have barely started studying: start laughing hysterically in the middle of the mall. You drop something, snort loudly, then laugh because you snorted. Your coworker asks you what's with you tonight, giggle like a hyena then let out a very heavy, long sigh. This tired is also associated with random feelings of wanting to cry, when you can feel that burning of salt tears behind your eyeballs. Don't cry, because then you know you will get snotty nose and blotchy skin. Laugh about it afterwards.
memo: this is suppose to be funny, not depressing. Jenn's all depressed now. It's funny! The crying bit is random crying, you know, when you are so tired that you want to cry for no reason (well, maybe you want to cry because you are tired but still... random). So funny, people, this is a very funny post. And everyone go console Jenn now too.